If you have no friends, then try to make friends. If still, you will not make friends, then if you say that, ‘I have no friends’, and then you should either try to make friends or try to adapt yourself to that lonely situation.
Making friends is not got by birth. It is a learned and well-practiced skill. Most of us learned how to make friends when we were little, but many of us need to learn the new skill of making friends as adults.
You might have heard the dialogue, ‘A friend in need is a friend indeed.’ So, try to make good friends who want genuine friendship. If they are with you for money/any such selfish needs, they are not your real friends.
If you have no friends and are leading a solitary life, you can pursue your interests/hobbies/passions during your leisure time. It is okay to lead a solitary life. If you think that, ‘I have no friends’, then there are some ways in which you can adjust yourself to your ‘alone life’ / the feeling of ‘being alone.’ All of which is mentioned in this article.
Learn how to make new friends!
Making friends is an art to master in itself. Try to find friends.
You can find friends by initiating conversations with people:
You should be able to identify how to initiate conversations with people in the right situation. You can ask a stranger some questions about themselves or anything around them.
One trick is that people like talking about themselves, and this makes the conversation interesting.
For example, You can ask, ‘What is your favourite movie? Which type of movies do you like? , Who are your favourite actor and actress?’
There is a high probability that, if you are feeling unsure about your friend-making skills, then you would turn down invitations to marriage parties, birthday parties, office parties, etc.
However, it would help if you did not do that. These types of occasions are potential friend-making opportunities. So, go and attend to them. You can meet new people and interact with old acquaintances and new people.
Be positive while interacting with others:
Talk positively to other people on social occasions, talk kindly of others, and give a smile. People gravitate towards those people who give off positive vibes around them.
Give encouraging and genuine compliments to people. They will become happy and feel more interested in making a conversation.
Pursue your interests with others:
If you would have enrolled yourself in any sports/games/singing/dancing classes, regularly attend the training classes. Also, take part in the competitions/ other events/ birthday parties/ marriage parties/ get-togethers/other ceremonies. In those events, you will find an opportunity to make new friends. Because, in such events, you will find people sharing the same interests as you. You will then be more interested in being friends with those whose interests and interests are alike. On such occasions, starting up a conversation with like-minded people will be easy.
You can start just by discussing your common interests. Do not be afraid to join a training center/ club to learn something you have never done before. That will help you a lot in making new friends. You will find like-minded people who want to share their interests only with those who have the same hobbies/interests as they have. Do not let the fear of rejection/ avoidance prevent you from interacting and being friends with like-minded people.
Find like-minded people online:
If it takes some time to find friends in your living area/ your educational institution/ the organization of your workplace, you can try to make friends online. This approach of making friends can help you a lot if you are an introvert.
You can find many like-minded people online who share your thoughts, interests, passion and, ideas. Online friends will not be as close as real-life friends, they will not solve your loneliness completely, but still, they are an excellent way to remain engaged and pass the time. However, do not get too much engaged with virtual friends and social media websites.
Doing social service would also help, as you will meet new people. You can interact with new people while visiting nursing homes, orphanages, and schools for physically challenged people. You will also feel good while doing so.
The conversation is the most crucial aspect of social connection. You need to practice the skill of conversation efficiently. A critical aspect of it is that you need to keep a conversation going on. That means starting a discussion about one thing, then listening to the other person. And then discussing another topic and keeping the conversation going on.
To avoid being alone, you should step out of your introverted comfort zone and start being an extrovert to a small extent, at least. That will help you in making friends in a long way. To keep a conversation going on, you need to learn to get interested in others and inquire about them.
You can elaborately ask many questions and discuss those topics with those people who are your potential friends. Try to find a common ground of conversation. Finding that common ground of conversation is what guarantees people to spend more time with you.
Understanding loneliness and shyness:
If you would have no friends, then you would feel lonely. Alternatively, if you are shy, then you will not be able to make friends. Being shy and introverted makes it difficult for a person to make friends. Human beings are social animals. Loneliness and shyness are different things. Try to understand the difference between them.
Loneliness is defined as an emotional response to perceived isolation, which feels unpleasant. It motivates individuals to seek friendships and lead a social life. Loneliness is often misunderstood for solitude.
Nevertheless, solitude is the state of being apart from other people. Not everyone who experiences solitude feels lonely. Loneliness can be felt even when surrounded by other people. While the one who feels alone experiences loneliness. There are many causes of loneliness, which include social, mental, emotional, and environmental factors.
On the other hand, shyness is just the fear of social criticism/ fear of making conversations with people. If you misinterpret shyness as loneliness and withdraw from people, they will think that you are not interested in any colloquy with them. People can misunderstand those actions of avoidance as an insult to them. This can make them think that you are conceited, and they also may start rejecting /avoiding you. So, do not try to lead a solitary life. Instead, make friends with people.
Which issues to address when you have no friends?
When you have no friends, then you need to address the following issues:
- Check you are not blocking new friendships: Ask yourself if you are not blocking new friends from forming. You might not have noticed that you are doing it. You might be doing that automatically, without thinking how it might be affecting our lives. Those actions result from our sub-conscious mind. Some events from your past which might have seemed unimportant can affect our present mindset and may pose an obstacle to our friendship with other people.
- Build a social circle by cross introducing friends: If you have more than one friend, you can strengthen the connection by introducing them. If they enjoy your company, it is very much likely that they will also enjoy each other’s company. This will be more successful if you and your familiar friends have common interests/passion.
- Do not give people the wrong message: Most people are quite open to making friends, but they also want to know whether the other person is also interested or not. So, you need to ensure that whether you are giving wrong messages to the people around you. Do you shun invitations to social functions? If so, you should realize that people will assume that you are not interested or might also have other important works. Body language also has a significant impact on your social skills. If you appear closed off with your arms crossed and head down, it does not fill people with confidence about coming and talking to you. When anyone speaks to you, you should try to engage in a conversation that flows naturally. It should not feel blunt and as if you are not interested.
- Numbers do not matter: A single friend is better than none. So, do not try to make friends with lots of people. Having many friends is not a matter of pride. However, if you have one/ two best friends, then it is worth it. If you have many friends, but later on come to know that some of them are with you for your money/ anything else like that, then let them go.
- Do not go chasing friends: If you have no friends and are alone, then do not chase people too much. If someone is not at all interested in being your friend, then let them go. ‘Try to be happy alone.’ Leading a solitary life is not a problem. It is okay to be alone. However, you can pass your alone time in pursuing your hobbies/interests/passions.
How to deal with having no friends?
Here are the ways, how to cope with having no friends:
Be compassionate towards yourself:
Always love yourself, no matter what. Treat yourself with love, compassion, and respect. This will increase your dignity towards yourself. If you are experiencing a difficult time, then treating yourself with love and compassion will not make you feel lonely. You will not think that ‘I am alone.’
Being alone will not hurt if you start speaking kindly to yourself, as you would speak to a near and dear one. Think how you would treat a loved one with love and care if they were suffering. Treat yourself in the same way. Your life would feel better. Feelings of ‘I am alone’ are just feelings formed in your mind. Please do not take it seriously. Instead, engage yourself in activities that you love doing.
Process your feelings of loneliness:
Loneliness can feel terrible. Nevertheless, it is necessary to understand and address your feelings of being alone instead of suppressing them. So that somebody can help you feel better or make you understand about ‘how to be happy alone.’
So, if you feel alone, do not hide those feelings inside you. Discuss it with your close ones. If you feel the urge to cry while addressing your feelings of ‘being alone,’ then cry. It will lighten your emotions of sadness, and you will feel relaxed and happy. Also, take time to understand your feelings to get some solutions for your issues.
Focus on your long-term goals:
- Suppose you have a dream of getting into a prominent university for higher studies, then always continually strive to study well so that you will get good grades, and you will be the topper to achieve your dream.
- Write down your goals and your plan for achieving those goals.
- Break down big goals into smaller daily tasks.
So that, in the long run, you will be able to achieve them, after consistent efforts put in every day.
What to do when you have no friends and are bored?
Spend time doing activities you enjoy:
It is entirely possible to have fun on your own. It would be best if you took time out of your day-to-day activities to pursue your interests/hobbies/passions. Maybe you love gardening, singing, writing, or anything else.
Doing something that you love to do can make you feel better and happy. Try going to your favourite actor’s movie alone. Going to a movie alone may seem awkward, but do not feel that, ‘I am alone.’ Once you go there, you will not feel alone. Everyone, there would be having one thing in common – you all like the artist.
Make a YouTube video:
If you are feeling alone, make YouTube videos. Through these, you can share your thoughts and ideas with everyone in the world. Then you will do not think that you are leading a solitary life. Many others are with you. If you share videos about your passion, you will not feel that ‘I am alone.’
People with like interests will join you in the field of your interest. That is the best way of doing social networking. You will have many followers and subscribers of your videos on your YouTube channel. Then you will not get the feeling that ‘no one loves me.’ The social media of YouTube is full of potential friends. Those who love singing /dancing/ have good knowledge can make excellent YouTube videos from time to time and keep them engaged. It will be fun also.
Start a blog:
You may start a blog to share your ideas about your passion with the world. The right audience will remain engaged through your blog.
They will give suggestions for improving the subject matter. In this way, you can connect with many others sharing the same likes and interests. Many bloggers get a good community of friends.
Take an online class:
Various reputed universities on the internet offer many free online courses. You might have completed your degree, but there are many other certificate courses or other short -term courses, which are in the field of your interest and passion also.
Always keep making good friends. You have the power within yourself to create new friends and build a social network of like-minded people. However, it also takes time and determination to do that. Do not worry.
Nevertheless, as you are reading this article, you might have felt at some time or the other that, ‘I have no friends’, ‘I am alone,’ ‘I am leading an alone life,’ etc. Spend time with your family/ get a pet for you to feel happy and relaxed. Be positive, have good self-care, and pamper yourself with love and compassion. Exercise regularly. Staying physically active helps you boost your mood and make you feel better about yourself.
Be kind to others. & You will be happy.